Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Why Some People Will Never Get Laid

     So I would like to talk about some issues I have with normal self grooming for both men and women. I think that there is a really high standard for both sexes to look good and stay in shape. There is something about that which is a good thing, I mean it encourages healthy people and hopefully rockin' bodies. However, there are many people, including myself, who takes this whole thing too far.

     Eyebrows: Who ever invented tweezers was a sadist. Who ever invented wax strips should have been awarded the medal of honor. It is so much easier to rip out 30 hairs at a time then one at a time. Fuck that. There are some people who don't know where to start with their eyebrows, I on the other hand do not know when to stop. I usually end up looking like a Hispanic with tattooed on brows. For the most part I hate when people draw on their eyebrows, but for some reason Pam Anderson still looks phenomenal with those little wax lines on her face. Then we have the people who can not start manicuring their brows. OK I get it some people prefer the natural look. But how natural is it for a human to look like a Sasquatch. I think it's safe to say that this goes for men too. I don't think that just because you are a "man," you can't wax your hairy ass eyebrows down a bit. There is nothing emasculating about it.

This is appropriate
This is not.....

     Facial Hair: There is not too much to say about this. If you are a woman, get it the fuck off of there. If you are a man keep it in check, no woman finds overbearing facial hair sexy.


Not this

Definitely not this

Definitely this

     Lips: I have always wanted lip injections until I realized that they really make you look like you just gave Mike Tyson a blow job, followed up by a knock out.
I would have put a "good" example up for this topic, but as long as you don't look like this you're good.
     Bikini Areas: OK this is a pretty gross to talk about with your best friend let alone on here, but oh well, something has to be said! I believe that people should shave. Period. Men, woman, everyone!! I do not think that there is anything attractive about a man or a woman "shaping" their area...just get rid of it all! Why would someone want a "landing strip" leading to their vagina... I'm pretty sure if you're sleeping with someone over the age of 12 they're going to know where to put it, no map quest needed. And for the men, please shave... or manscape or whatever you call it. Picking pubes outta your mouth is not cute. You don't want to do it, what makes you think that I want to?

Ladies this is bad

Men: This is really bad

     Nails: I have a petpeve about this, I really do. Men and women need to keep their nails clean and shortish. I don't have a problem with fake nails (because we all know I love a French tip here and there) But I think that there is a point to where they're unhygienic. This goes for men too. Many men have nicely manicured nails that are long...I will never ever understand that. Also, I almost forgot, airbrushed fake nails just like plain trashy. Do not paint your nails to look like a watermelon or hello kitty. 

This Lady had to have
10 kids one for each

This stunner must have one hell
of a cocaine problem

Where is animal control when
you need it?

Now that I have completely grossed myself out, I'm going to lay down. I'm feeling like shit today, thanks to all of my research....
<3 Always ----R


  1. Actually you're wrong on all accounts except for the nails. I happen to love pubic hair on a woman. I love that full natural hairy 70's bush. I don't care what people say. It reminds me that she's a woman and not some prepubescent little girl. I find it interesting how our society hates pedophiles yet the media almost encourages it by these trends. I don't like facial hair around a woman's mouth, but I don't mind a little bit of sideburns. I like full eyebrows, too. I like being reminded that we're mammals not reptiles, and I don't like the woman to look like she just had chemotherapy. Barbie dolls aren't real. They're as fake as silicon. I agree with you about the nails, though.