Wednesday, July 25, 2012


     For people like me its hard getting a job. I have a kid, and a husband who works over 60 hours a week, oh and no real talent. I have literally nothing to fall back on. For instance, I worked at several hardware stores for 6+ years, I bar-tended and that's about it. I don't have a skill or a degree in anything. So, with it being nearly impossible to get a job, I have created a resume for myself that will ensure that I get a reasonable amount of employment offers coming my way!

Name: Robyn Champion
Maiden Name: Sludock (My mothers last name since my father is an eternal dirt bag)
Phone #: You're not getting it, my ring back tone could be considered offensive
Fax: 1-800-STAPLES, why would I have a fax machine?

Previous Employment: Paint lady and beer bitch.
Skill Set: Common sense and a nice rack, oh and an occasional good Jew joke.
References: I have limited friends, so just call my cousin who has a different last name as me. She'll lie and tell you that I'm a good and decent person who will be an asset to your company.
Cover Letter: I don't know how to do that so, no don't have one, too much work.
Hobbies: Drinking...I'm struggling to find anything else to say here...should I say something like joining the peace core?

I know not much but this will do for now <3 R