Saturday, November 12, 2011

Can I Jam This Ice Pick Into My Ear?

     As I was writing yesterdays blog and I started to bitch about LMFAO and their hideous choice in a career, I started to think what other songs really have dumb ass lyrics. Then this morning I was going for a walk with my kid in Bethel to clear my head and I heard a song that will be listed below and I thought what possesses someone to write them down let alone song it out loud. And who was the asshole that produced this? He should be shot. I'm going to try my best to find videos for these atrocities so that if you don't know the songs by name you can hear these little audio sodomies yourself. I would also like to add that I am listening to Queen and David Bowie and LOVING IT.

My name is Keri, I'm so very, Fly oh my, it's a little bit scary, Boys wanna marry, looking at my derrière And you can stare but if you touch it Imma bury Pretty as a picture  
Sweeter than a swisher Mad 'cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you
I don't gotta talk about it baby you can see it But if you want I'll be happy to repeat it
All eyes on me when I walk in, No question that this girl's a 10 Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault, so please don't trip Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
    No one wants to marry someone because they have a nice ass, lets start off with this. I like to think that I have a nice caboose, but no one has ever said to me "Hey Ma, you gotta nice ass wanna wife up." and OBVI that would be an immediate disqual. And saying shes as pretty as a picture, sure shes a cute girl as you can see in the video, but lets be honest, anyone who thinks that highly of themselves to me looks like Rosie. And she may be cuter than you girlfriend, but I'm sure your girlfriend isn't a giant bitch with a queen complex. No one has the right to call themselves a 10, you are always biased to yourself. How about step away from your mirror face, everyone looks better when they're staring at their make up an inch away. 

I am the man who will fight for your honor I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' of We'll live forever, knowin' together That we did it all for this ghetto ghetto love I'm lookin' at this sexy girl from a distance
She's so damn style I'm a witness Let me tell ya woah  Move that thing ya woah Let me tell ya
And then I take her to the parking lot Jump into my car and straight to my spot say woah
Then she started a fight as we stepped out the club Only cause a fan trying give me a little hug
     Ok I heard this today and I suggest you watch the video. because it's a shitty one. First off, the chorus is a rip off of Peter Catera's "Glory of Love." And yes I know that no google use here. He probably just needed a pay check and that's why these people ripped his song. Second what is a ghetto love? Maybe I'll never know, but I would love someone to try to explain it to me. Is it like JLo and P.Diddy or Jay-Z and Beyonce? Or is it like Eminem and Kim? I am severely confused. What is moving like woah? Because when I see something that makes me say woah, it's not a good thing. Also you have no fans, and even if you did I am pretty sure they're like 12 I would have nothing to worry about, thanks for your concern. Lastly, I am not going to get into your car, you may have drugs in there and to be honest I don't want to go to jail over your dumb ass.

Oh, wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
     So you don't want to dance with Bobby Brown or cocaine... got it.

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block Used to have a little, now I have a lot No matter where I go, I know where I came from (South-Side Bronx!)
From In Living Color to movie scripts To On the 6 to J. Lo to this headline clips
I stayed grounded as the amounts roll in I'm real, I thought I told you
I'm real, even on Oprah That's just me Nothin phony, don't hate on me What you get is what you see
Normally I have no problem with Hennifer, I really don't except on this song. We know you have a lot Jen you don't need to write a song about how real you are. And we all do know that you came from the Bronx, you say it in like every song you sing. I would not brag about your movie scripts they are not that great. I'm not talking about Gili I never saw it, I was thinking more Maid in Manhattan. Oprah doesn't care how real you are either, all that she knows is that you and her are real-ly rich.

What would you do? What would you do if I followed you? What would you do if I follow?
     I love Stone Temple Pilots with all of my heart. There is not one day that goes by that I don't listen to them. It is a must just to get out of bed in the morning for me. I love this song soooo sooo much, but this set of lyrics alone is disturbing. If Scott was following me I would love it let me tell you. What a beautiful human being. On the other hand if it was a nasty human I would call the cops.

Now I would like to list all of the bands and artists I listen to on the regular because they are spectacular, I'm sure most of you won't appreciate it:

  1. Tom Petty - and all satellite bands of his
  2. Queen
  3. David Bowie
  4. Audioslave
  5. Stone Temple Pilots
  6. The Wallflowers
  7. Black Crows
  8. P!nk
  9. The Wreckers
  10. Pearl Jam
  11. The Alman Brothers
  12. Ace of Base
I know some of them are not fantastic to everyone, but there is something about these 90's bands that I just can't kick.

We'll see if you guys get one tomorrow
<3 you ---R

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