Friday, March 22, 2013

Ahh Hello No!

     Ahh my new life as a newly single bartender has given me much inspiration for this! I have to say for the first time in a long time I am very happy. After losing quite a bit of weight and some inner self searching, I look hot, I feel hot and I am just being me. I am very excited for my new life and I figured since I am smiling, you should smile.
     I as much as the next girl love to be told how beautiful, hot,attractive I am, as many times as possible. My inner self of course says, "I know" or "Thanks divorce". However on the outside I still react like a little bitch, blush a little and shrug it off like they're being nice and swiftly walk away.
    There are always statements though that are said that only have one response. NO. Not something like, do you want a sandwich? There are times when all I can do is come up with something quick and witty. However there are times when my inner ghetto princess comes out and this is how I react...

Here are some of those times. Insert AHHHHH HELL NO after these statements.
  1. I'm 41 and you're 26. What would you say if I asked you to go to a hockey game with me?...
  2. Want to go see a Nicki Minaj concert?...
  3. Do you want to meet my mother?...
  4. Do you think you will ever want to have more kids?...
  5. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?...
  6. Do you want to go up North with me for the weekend and go snow mobing?...
  7. Do you want to go camping with me alone?...
  8. Do you want to snuggle?...
  9. Can I get you jewelry?...
  10. I'm a pipe liner, want to see the pipe?...
  11. Why don't you do all the work tonight?...
  12. Do you think you should be eating that?...
  13. Want to be my next ex wife?...
  14. Why do you love that dog so much?...
  15. Can you stand next to me and make me look good?...
  16. Are those real?... (Yeah I implanted these 34Cs... really dude!
  17. Lets watch Duck Dynasty...
  18. Why do you and your cousin talk to each other like puppies?...
  19. Don't you want to wear something a little longer or maybe not black?...
  20. Are you sure you want to have that last drink?..
     Also there are several things that when in a relationship or in many cases casual hook ups that people say to test the waters and see what boundaries can be pushed in an experience. Here are some that deserve the above response:
  1. Do you like it in the...?...
  2. Can you bite my nipples?...
  3. Say my name...BITCH...
  4. Want to bring some food into the mix?...
  5. Can I stick my thumb....?
     I hope you all enjoyed! <3 always R

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