Saturday, September 17, 2011

Ain't No Nugget Small Enough

     This is my way of forgetting what is going on in my life now. Chris is in Kuwait for a year and even though I'm moving home to be with my friends and my family, I can't help but feel like I still want my best friend with me when I go to bed at night. He does love it over there witch is a good thing so I can't really complain!   
     Over the next week or so I will be blogging about things that amuse me, I can't do it all at once since I have been packing like a mother fucker and I will be unpacking when I get home.

     Midgets: I love these stubby little fuckers. They are like real people torsoes with T-rex arms and Rosanne Barr legs. My favorite combo. These little nuggets are like a gift from the Easter Jesus! They are so feisty yet delicate. I was watching a show earlier called "Hulk Hogan's Mini Wrestling,"or something, all I know is that Christmas came early. Those little people know how to tangle. I wish I knew how to throw down like that. (Tru TV Fridays at 10). I wish I had one as a pet, I really do because they eat what I eat, they shit in a toilet and they can dress themselves, unlike my 1.8 yr old daughter. They are like the perfect companion. I mean I can always look down on them and I will always be the one driving, which is a big deal for me! I rather have a nugget that has some kind of talent that I can exploit at like a party or TV audition though. Like OK " Stand there and snort that spaghetti up your nose and fart it out." That would definitely take like 30 minutes more for a full grown human learn how to do. More bang for your buck in those little fuckers. I would guess that their life span is shorter than an average human, but they are just so much more fun. I have this overwhelming urge to go to the park with one, and push them on a swing, play Frisbee and gallop gleefully through a field hand in hand. The TLC channel has dominated this species. They have little people big world and the little couple. These shows would not be on TV if a regular family had 1 midget son, and the couple were regular adults trying for a baby. There is some sick kind of need for us bigs to see how these people live. There is a magnetic draw to these limber limbed humans. My husband Chris and my father-in-law Randy just crack the fuck up when I talk about a "nugget" that I have seen. I personally think that they are in awe of my commitment to these little snuggle muffins. Chris and I were recently in Cleveland and he took this picture while he was smoking outside the bar we were in, and quickly sent it to me....
This was the best present I could have gotten. And this is why I love him so much. I wasn't outside to see this and it was so romantic how he thought of me! I would like to know where they get their clothes, shoes and cars, I mean someone needs to let me in on this secret. Not because I want to go get some for myself being only 5'1", but I want to go to the lair and befriend one. Who's to say that my soul-midget isn't waiting for me somewhere. Who are they? What would they be like? Where will I find them? Will they let me do their hair? Can I put a saddle on Daisy and have them ride her? There are sooooo many questions I have. I hope one day me and my tater will unite.... Until then I'll keep dreaming...

Thanks again for reading I know I am a fucked up human but it works for me....
Follow me in twitter @bobzc and on facebook Robyn Sludock
Love always see you in a couple days! -----R

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