Lifes Questions

     Sometimes I find myself asking myself questions that only I could come up with. However wrong they may be I can't help but laugh at myself. I am also thinking about making this some kind of regular post, weekly or monthly something like that. Here are some of the most recent ones:

• When is it appropiate to bring my own alcohol?
• Why do old people like to smell like pine?
• Is there a reason for "expectant mother parking"? and why is it ahead of the handicap people?
• Is Nicolas Sparks a homosexual?
• Does Jennifer Lopez need to tan?
• Why does my dogs gas smell like eggs when she has not had an eggs?
• Why do dogs chase cats?
• Why does my dog not care about cats?
• Who drives a Kia Sol?
• What kind of alcohol says I'm trying to grow up but still be drunk?
• Is wine a good alternative to cocaine?
• Why are tampons circular and only obsorb on its polar sides and then ruin my 20$ panties?
• Is there a road map to life and where can I buy one?
• Can I purchace someone a wife for Christmas?
• Why do people I went to high school with want to be friends with me still?
• Why do the Stone Temple Pilots make me want to kill myself but I cannot turn them off?
• Did Kurt Kobain (Spelling?) really kill himself?
• Why am I expected to be fake nice to people?
• Is there a way to teleport to Brookfield so I don't have to drive in lunchtime traffic?
• Why does the Danbury mall think that it's in Manhattan?
• Is my attachment to my dog normal?
• What is everyone elses problem?
• What is my daughters problem?
• Should I put my box of wine in a bag to enter someones home?
• What does Daisy dream about?
• What does Shannon Sossamon do now?
• Will I ever touch Donnie Walburgh?
• Can I have an engagement ring please?
• Who can I tell that I wish bad things on other people?
• Is there something else I'm supposed to be doing?
• Will I ever own a midget?
• Is the previous racist, sexist or.....?
• Why is walmart still open?
• How do I become famous without fucking a black man with a crooked penis or Rick Solomon?
• Is there a social networking site that I can use where I can actually say what I want to?
• Should I have another glass of wine?
• Why is my gas worse close to my period?
• Why does my period last for 3 weeks on occasion?
• When they tie your tubes are they really tied?
• When do I start Christmas shopping?
• If mama Cass was so fat shouldn't her wind pipe have been big enough to fit a chunk of sandwich?
• Is guilt a normal human emotion?
• Is there something I should be doing?
• Can I buy an Asian to do my nail and wax my eye brows?
• Why do people buy other people musical Hallmark cards?
• Do I have to put makeup on to go out?
• Do I have to be friends with hillbillys?
• What if those hillbillys date a friend of mine?
• Why do people look at the past like a bad thing, not like I dodged a bullet?
• Why do I care about offending people?
• Can I pretend to like you while you tell me your life story so I can repeat it to Allison and laught at you later?
• Are claw hair things still out of style
• What am I supposed to do with a Ford Fusion...really?
• Should I have more pictures of my daughter and less of my dog?
• What is a Wiz Kalifa?
• Does anyone see this as fucked up as I do?

I love all of you and I wil leave you with this beautiful picture of my favorite baby <3 R